Christmas..

it's that time of year again.

this time around it was great, just one thing RELATIONSHIP. I don't know honestly. Anyways, how did my christmas eve go...

-woke up, clean & fixed my room

-went to james house for a bit

-then went to work for four hours, haha i know why did I.

-received a card, christian dvd, and 50 dollars from our boss. THANKYOU

-went to james house to wrap last minute presents for my sisters

-then went to my house, we broguth shayna and pepper, we ate a little

-went to his uncles house and had more food, YUMMY. played with Jaiven because he's the most handsome filipino, black puerto rican i know haha.

-went back to his house for a while then went back to mine, got ready for midnight pass and this is where it all happen.

We got to church at 11:00 and NO SEATS what soever, there were but people were reserving seats for other people like big groups of friends and family. and i'm thinking to myself why the hell are these people reserving ITS CHURCH for crying out loud. So me and james ended sitting outside where we don't see the priest nor could we hear him.  When my sister came, I told her that we should leave before the bread, because i couldn't stand sitting outside in the cold and it was drizzling.  I know whoever might read this is probably gonna be like omg get a grip but this is how i feel.  I mean I know a lot of people were bummed they had to sit outside.  But I thought to myself, I love god and I love going to church, but just this one time I didn't want to be there, i'd rather be with my family having noche buena than sitting outside practically listening to nothing. And what makes it worst is that me and james were arguing, actually until now.  That's a different story......But omg never again I'm going to midnight mass at OLPH, or maybe i'll try again. Other than that I'll just attend OLGC.  Oh, btw MORE THAN HALF OF THE PEOPLE that were there doesn't even go to church on daily basis which I find disrespectful, I mean your gonna go church just because its christmas?  Sorry but I had to vent it out because me and my sister were really upset.  So we decided to leave early and spent christmas with my family, which made the highlight of my christmas, i love them.

-We got home and started out secret santa, it was awesome! I got new peep toes, yeahhh for clubbing or work!

-then played games and we actually bought prizes for the winner, we had like jamba juice, starbucks, D&B, and zippys gift card. I know my family is awesome!

okay thats it.

-I got what I wanted for christmas.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS 

mhm..

FUN!

whew, today was a whole lotta fun shopping with james. hes done with his shopping, but not me dayum....i'm almost done tho, i bought a gift for my mom, dad, secret santa, taylor, baby kaleb, shayna and i gotta do two more kids. anyways....

I'm over it. Right now, I don't care. Just like how you are careless.  Our feelings mutual, and i'm glad. hah.

Today...

After a night of bullshit, i know everything is gonna be fine. Me & James worked things out and everything is better than ever.  Family, we're getting there.  It's just hard to cope with everything that had happened this past month, its crazy.  Friends? Honestly, I don't know who my true friends are, but I mean they're hard to find, so i'll be patient and just be satisfied with those who stuck it out for me.  Right now, I just feel like everything I heard about leaving high school is so true, sometimes high school drama will follow you & come to think of it, there's just some people who can't solve problems the mature way.  Another thing is, my sister told me "trust me, after high school don't expect your friends to be your friends, in fact your gonna be friends with the ones who you weren't friends with." And that is soo true.  So as of now, I'll keep my guards down and don't let any pathetic person get to me with their untruthful words because why bother? They don't know me or at least they think so.  

Anyways, today was another beautiful day.  Sorta raining not really.  Went to waikele but omg the traffic was outrageous.  So me and james just decided to go Sports authority and Kmart, which was fun sorta.  Bought me a new foundation brush its soo good.  Then went to buy malasadas cuz my pregnant boyfriend was craving haha. Went over to his house, did nothing really. Went to my house and ate dinner, chill, wrap presents then watch WANTED again. i can't get sick of that movie haha.  Well thats all. Okay bye.

How I feel

as of now.

Lately, I've been wondering where can you find friends that can be friends.  I'm not pointint this out to a particular someone, its just in general.  I feel like I've been friends with so many people but not one of them I could actually talk to about how I really feel.  I mean I'm not perfect and I hate how others think I live a perfect life or at least they think so.  No, i'm just a regular human being who goes through what a human being goes through.  I'm far from being perfect and I'm not better than everyone else.  I just wish others could see through my eyes instead of what others have to say about me.